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My son & I both lost our fathers within 2 months of each other. Josh's Dad died of cirrhosis of the liver in Nov. '95. Josh was 15. His Dad was only 39.
My Dad had lived a long life & was 87 (I think) in January '96 when he passed away. He was in a convalescent home & we knew he wouldn't be around too long. But it was still a shock when it happened. Fortunately we had about 12 hours "warning" from the nursing staff & I had a chance to get there and say goodbye before he left.
I tell you this as an explanation of why we haven't celebrated Father's Day for about 14 years. It's just something we sort of ignore when it comes around. But the commercials & newspaper ads don't let you "just skip it". You're inundated with messages for almost a full month before the big day arrives. So I can't help but be a little melancholy at this time of year.
Today I came across an article that just really warmed my heart. THIS is what being a Dad really means. THIS selfless act reminds me that there really are some good guys out there, who step up to the plate regardless of biology or any other reason that some Dads use to bail out on their responsibilities. I hope this touches you as much as it did me. And if you have a Dad or "father equivalent" you will be celebrating with this Sunday, remember: no matter how difficult your relationship may be (as mine was), he's still here & he won't be forever. Try to find a way to love him in spite of his flaws (you have some too!) Years from now you'll be glad you did. :-)Here you go: (CNN doesn't seem to let you copy/paste)
Sometimes I'm right and I can be wrong
My own beliefs are in my song
The butcher, the banker, the drummer and then
Makes no difference what group I'm in
I am everyday people, yeah yeah
I am no better and neither are you
We are the same whatever we do
You love me, you hate me, you know me and then
You can't figure out the bag l'm in
I am everyday people, yeah yeah
There is a yellow one that won't accept the black one
That won't accept the red one that won't accept the white one
And so on and so on and scooby dooby doo-bee
Oh sha sha-we got to live together
Hello neighbors! It's your long-lost-friend MusicChick2! I'm sorry that I haven't posted in so long. I WAS moblogging my posts, but months ago I tried to update my moblogging address & somehow screwed it up. 8-/ (My PC is very temperamental, so I use my "smartphone" 9O% of the time.
ANYWAY, several of you have P.M.'ed me, asking how I'm doing. I must tell you how much that's touched me, that you've thought about me. Thank you!
One of the main reasons I haven't posted is because nobody enjoys reading about someone's ills & infirmities. How depressing!! If you feel that way, thank you for reading this far, & I'll post something more cheerful next time. Something cute about my kitties & their silly antics. 8-D Now skip down to the puppies & rainbows.
For the rest of you I'll try, as BRIEFLY as I can, update you on what's been going on. The beginning is grim, but it gets better at the end. :-)
You may remember that I was
scheduled for knee replacement surgery in July.
Prior to surgery every patient must go through some routine blood tests,
x-rays, etc. My blood tests came back
with an anomaly which was tentatively diagnosed as thrombocytosis. This means I have elevated platelets, low
white count, low iron & anemia
. This condition can cause hemorrhaging
or blood clots which could cause a stroke.
So until this situation is resolved, surgery is too risky. :- /
The next step is a CT ("CAT") scan in an effort to determine WHY my blood is doing this. The hope is that any unknown condition would be revealed through the CT scan. And IF after exhaustive tests are run nothing is found, they can give me a medication which will bring my blood chemistry back to normal. Of course if some baddy disease is discovered, then they'll treat me for THAT.
So why is it March &
this is still "in limbo"?
Because it's difficult to get an appointment with the Hematologist /
Oncologist. And because I've been
stubborn & foolish & lazy. If
I'm in too much pain or just not feeling well I'll cancel & reschedule appointments. Repeatedly.
I know. It's REALLY dumb &
self-defeating. I think I'm just terrified to find out that I have cancer or something! So I keep putting it off.
I think when last we
"spoke" I was still getting around with my (rolling) walker. Since the holidays I've "graduated"
to a wheelchair which I gratefully received at no charge through a local
disability ministry.
My legs are now bent at
approximately 9O degrees, basically a sitting position. My feet & hands are gradually becoming
more & more disfigured. It's easier now for me to compose a post or "tect / type" via my phone. As you can see in the photo below, my fingers are curling in & I am unable to straighten them. So typing on the regular keyboard is limited to my index fingers. And my feet are getting so weird that I can't get a normal shoe on. So I've ordered ballerina type slippers so I have something to wear to doctor's appointments, etc. This
arthritis can be a tricky disease, achy & bothersome for some, crippling for
others.
My most recent acquisition is a "transfer chair" so that I can get in & out of the tub & take a proper shower. I never really appreciated the joy & relief of a simple shower until I couldn't stand in one anymore. Doing the "sponge bath" thing & washing my hair in the sink was a p.i.t.a. (p.ain i.n t.he a.ss). So I am happy to have this new contraption, yet sad that I need it. Ya' know?
Otherwise, life has been pretty uneventful. I am trying to switch to an anti-inflammatory diet, eliminating foods that cause inflammation in the body. Mostly ANYTHING with flour or sugar, & all animal products (milk, cheese, eggs, meats) are inflammatory. Plus, because of the arthritis, I should also avoid "nightshade" vegetables: potatoes, peppers, eggplant, & tomatoes. I've only been eating this way for a week, but I'm cautiously optimistic. But with all these restrictions it's difficult! I've been reading "Super Foods", as well as other info online (from reliable sources like the Mayo Clinic, etc.) So far I haven't eliminated dairy, but as I use up what I have I'll try to replace it with soy products.
I'm pretty much nomming off and on all day. Things like yogurt (regular & frozen), nuts, fresh fruits & vegetables. & whole grains (like oatmeal in the morning, or brown rice) I add in poultry or fish for real meals. But I still haven't gained any weight. I've been hovering at 11O lbs. for about a year. 8-/ (And 3 ½ years ago I weighed 215!!!) If any of you out there are Nutritionists, I definitely welcome advice & guidance!
(I had a puppy that looked just like this when I was a kid. After a year my Mom took her to the pound while I was at school because "she shed too much")
The weather here in Seattle is still pretty rainy & drizzly but Spring is determined to pop out all over. The barren bushes outside my window are now bursting (literally!) with new leaves. And the ball fields in the park behind my apartment are teeming with kids in sparkling new baseball uniforms, team parents hauling the huge barrels of drinks and snacks. Brightly colored flags are hung around the perimeter of the fields & shouts of "Play Ball!" & "Hey-batter-batter-batter" can be heard almost every afternoon, especially Saturdays! I have a ringside seat to all the games!
Need to get some binoculars though. I'm sure some of those Dads out there are single & cute! ;-) Hey, a girl can dream, can't she?
I miss "talking"
with all of you & I promise to try to catch up on what's been happening on
YOUR blogs. And my "babies",
Pooh & Tipper, miss posing for pics to share with all of you. More kitty pictures, comin' right up!
Thanks for being out there,
neighbors! Sometimes I just need to talk
to someone!! And a special thanks to
those of you who have kept in touch via email. Especially my dear Carlisa, who
has been doggedly determined to get me to talk & not just hibernate, &
help me figure out the mazes of Medicare & Medicaid. *mwah*
I'm hoping this hasn't been too tedious or
boring for the rest of you!
I love you guys, I really do. I hope you're all well & happy. And to our neighbor Judi (YGRS), you are in my prayers daily. I pray that your heart is beginning to heal, and that you know without a doubt that you are very loved. By all of us. *gentle hugs*
The use of acid to maim and disfigure both women and men for supposed transgressions, is a problem in South Asia. Although this is in some ways a sad story, it is also inspirational because women like Fozilitun Nessa are not prepared to lose their will to live, despite the horrific damage that has been done to them.
I hope some day these crimes will be a thing of the past and the perpetrators of these crimes are brought to justice and incur a heavy penalty for their disgraceful actions.
By Shakira Hussein
Bangladesh has been in the news recently for violence in the military, but there is another kind of violence, quiet and almost unnoticed, that occurs there every second day, writes Shakira Hussein
Whenever anybody meets Fozilitun Nessa, the first thing they learn about her is the moment that she would most like to wipe from her life: the moment a neighbour, enraged by the rejection of his marriage proposal, flung acid into her face. He could not have her, so he branded her. After eight rounds of surgery, she bears the mark still. Further surgery could help to conceal the damage, but she has had enough. She has nothing to be ashamed of, she says. She did nothing wrong, and her scarred face is not her fault. It is his fault — the one who did it to her. Fozilitun visited Australia from Bangladesh as UNIFEM's guest for International Women's Day. She has come to talk about the work of the Acid Survivor's Foundation, the organisation that arranged for her surgery and for whom she is now a board member. But listening to her address a 900-strong audience in Canberra, it was clear that she had also come because speaking out and making herself visible is the best victory that she can have. Her attacker must have thought that if she survived her injuries, she would hide herself away. She hasn't.
Hundreds of women (and some men) are killed or maimed by acid attack in South Asia each year, across a myriad of ethnic and religious communities. They are punished for a range of supposed transgressions. For refusing a suitor, like Fozilitun. For failing to adhere to ordained dress codes. For transgressing caste boundaries. For failing to bring enough dowry to a marriage, like Noor Bibi's daughter.
I met Noor Bibi some years ago in Pakistan, just a few hours after her daughter had died, her face burned away by the acid flung by her husband and his brothers. Noor Bibi was a widow with no sons, living with her brother's family in a village outside Lahore. She was very poor, but she had married off her daughter with the best dowry she could afford. It was not enough. After the wedding, the groom's family kept demanding more and more money. Noor Bibi's daughter was their hostage — when their demands were not met, they beat her. Noor Bibi gave and gave until she had nothing more to give. After that, they had no more use for her daughter.
Noor Bibi had come to Lahore with her daughter and sat at her bedside as she died. She traced her fingers across her own face as she described the damage the acid had wrought upon her only child. Her eye, her nose, her ear, all burned away. Her young son remained in the custody of the family who had killed her. Noor Bibi hoped to reclaim her grandson. But her daughter was gone.
In strictly relative terms, Fozilitun escaped lightly. She is still alive; she still has her vision, her ability to smile. But her life is split into "before" and "after". Before the attack, she lived with her extended family in the provincial town of Comilla, 100 kilometres south-east of the capital, in a combined household with her four uncles and their families as well as her own parents and siblings. She was a good student and planned to become a school principal one day. She winces when she talks of those plans.
"It's a very painful question, to think about those ambitions. That's totally finished."
After the burning, the weeks when she thought that she might die, the surgery and yet more surgery, she was determined to continue her education and her life. She left her hometown to go to university in the capital, Dhaka. Her older sisters had completed their degrees, but she was the first daughter in the family to move away from home alone — a bold, transgressive step in Bangladeshi society. She was also the first in her family to complete her Masters degree, and she now has a management position in telecommunications, with 20 employees under her supervision. She lists all her accomplishments with quiet pride. She undertook all of them, she says, to prove that she could. And to prove that "he" — the man who burned her, the man she does not name — could not stop her.
But still she carries the stigma wherever she goes. People notice her, in places where it is best not to be noticed. They know what happened to her — the thickened scar tissue across her face tells its own story. Or they think they know - often they need to be told, over and over, that it was not her fault, that none of the acid-scarred women brought this mark upon themselves.
And overlying the story of the acid, of the years since "he" left his mark, are more ordinary stories of day-to-day life as a young woman living alone in Dhaka. She has been boarding with a family, but that is coming to an end. She needs to find somewhere new, and it is not easy. She needs somewhere safe, somewhere secure. "Security is the most important thing for me," she says. It is not easy, as a woman alone.
I think of Noor Bibi as I listen to Fozilitun. In many ways they are very different — Fozilitun is younger, much better educated; an urban professional rather than a village peasant. But both their lives have been marked by acid. And each of them has had to find their way alone, in a society where it is expected that women's lives will be negotiated by others.
Fozilitun is not entirely alone, however. There are her work colleagues, and her fellow activists from the Acid Survivors Foundation. And she talks affectionately about her family - her sisters and their children, her younger brother's academic achievements. But she does not live with them, and that is regarded as very far from ideal. Her mother is anxious about her - she is a source of gossip, living all alone in the big city, travelling around the world, unmarried at the age of 26. Why hasn't she settled down, at her age?
And she would like to settle down, one day. She would like to get married. But she will marry the man of her choice, "a man who loves me — me," she says, stabbing her finger to herself, "who loves me from his heart." She has a good job, a decent salary, but she does not want a man to marry her for that. She does not want to be reduced to her earning capacity any more than she wants to be reduced to her scars.
And so she continues to make plans. She would like to undertake further study in gender and development, and to continue in her career. She is not a burden on anyone, so no one is entitled to tell her that she should not live alone, that she should marry a man who does not love her from his heart. And she refuses to feel ashamed.
Has the country gone crazy?
No I don't think so, it is just Australia.
In case you have missed nature's latest happenings in Australia here is a quick recap.
It started with a drought.
Then with floods in Northern Queensland. Whole towns have been underwater, other communities have been cut off from the rest of the country. Some areas will be underwater for a few months. There have been huge animal stock losses. Supplies have had to be flown into isolated communities. A few towns have reportedly ran out of beer - yes it is that serious!
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Another unfortunate problem that has come with the flood waters in Queensland is the presence of salt water crocodiles in urban areas. A five year old boy was taken by a crocodile on the 8th of February. The crocodile has now been captured and at the request of the boy's parents the crocodile will not be destroyed, but will instead be housed in a crocodile farm. It will not be put on public display. I have to give full credit to the boy's parents for not desiring the reptile to be killed.
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Today there was another incident with a crocodile this time in Mount Isa's CBD. A freshwater crocodile was accidently ran over by a taxi and sadly it did not survive its injuries. Freshwater crocodiles are not as dangerous as salties as the freshwater variety are smaller and mainly feed on small animals.
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So far the Queensland floods have affected 9, 700 people.
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While floods were occuring in Queensland, the southern states of Australia experienced their worst ever heatwaves. A record number of days above 40C was set. The top temperature of about 48C (118F) occurred on Saturday 7th February, the day which will now be known as Black Saturday; the fateful day when the killer bushfires began across Victoria. So far 200 people have been confirmed dead in the fires, 1800 homes destroyed and 15, 000 people have been affected by the fires. There are still fires burning in Victoria, but at this stage none are near homes or townships.
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Sadly a volunteer firefighter died yesterday when a tree fell on him while he was on duty in the Marysville fire area. He is the first firefighter to have lost his life during these fires. Our full praises go out to these brave men and women who make up the Victorian Country Fire Association and the other state country fire units - these men and women are all volunteers, they do not get paid for their life saving services.
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When the bushfires were threatening Victoria, the state of New South Wales was dealing with a number of shark attacks. In Sydney two men were attacked by a shark in separate incidents two days apart. Today it was announced that the first victim, a navy diver who was attacked in Sydney Harbour while engaging in navy exercises will have to have his leg amputated, he had already lost a hand in the attack. The second victim was a surfer who was surfing off Bondi Beach and suffered severe injuries to his arm.
Most experts agree the cluster of attacks is a freak coincidence and say there is no evidence of an increase in the country's shark population. Nevertheless, some have argued that cleaner, nutrient-rich waters have boosted the animals' reproduction and drawn them into shallow waters.
Although sharks are often spotted off Australia's beaches, fatal attacks are rare. On average, just one person is killed by a shark in Australia each year, according to the Australian Shark Attack File database.
New South Wales now also has floods to
contend with and some communities have been isolated due to the floods. I also believe Western Australia is also experiencing some flooding. The state of South Australia is hoping for a positive
from the NSW and Queensland floods. It is hoping that some of the flood water
will flow down into South Australia and help replenish some of the drought
affected areas and increase water supplies.
In 1908 Dorothea Mackellar at the age of 22 published a poem about Australia. She wrote it during a stay in England when she was homesick for her country Australia. This poem is a fitting tribute to Australia in light of the events Australia has experienced over the past month or so.
"My Country"
The love of field and coppice,
Of green and shaded lanes,
Of ordered woods and gardens
Is running in your veins.
Strong love of grey-blue distance
Brown streams and soft, dim skies -
I know but I cannot share it,
My love is otherwise.
I love a sunburnt country,
A land of sweeping plains,
Of rugged mountain ranges,
Of droughts and flooding plains.
I love her far horizons,
I love her jewel-sea,
Her beauty and her terror -
The wide brown land for me!
The stark white ring-barked
forests,
All tragic to the moon,
The sapphire-misted mountains,
The hot gold rush of noon.
Green tangle of the brushes,
Where lithe lianas coil,
And orchids deck the tree tops
And ferns the warm dark soil.
Core of my heart, my country!
Her pitiless blue sky,
When sick at heart, around us,
We see the cattle die -
But then the grey clouds gather,
And we can bless again
The drumming of an army,
The steady, soaking rain.
Core of my heart, my country!
Land of the Rainbow Gold,
For flood and fire and famine,
She pays us back three-fold.
Over the thirsty paddocks,
Watch, after many days,
The filmy veil of greenness
That thickens as we gaze ...
A opal-hearted country,
A wilful, lavish land -
All you who have not loved her,
You will not understand -
Though earth holds many splendours,
Wherever I may die,
I know to what brown country
My homing thoughts will fly.
May peace and love be with you.
The Nobel Peace Prize for 2006
The Norwegian Nobel Committee has decided to award the Nobel Peace Prize for 2006, divided into two equal parts, to Muhammad Yunus and Grameen Bank for their efforts to create economic and social development from below. Lasting peace can not be achieved unless large population groups find ways in which to break out of poverty. Micro-credit is one such means. Development from below also serves to advance democracy and human rights.
Muhammad Yunus has shown himself to be a leader who has managed to translate visions into practical action for the benefit of millions of people, not only in Bangladesh, but also in many other countries. Loans to poor people without any financial security had appeared to be an impossible idea. From modest beginnings three decades ago, Yunus has, first and foremost through Grameen Bank, developed micro-credit into an ever more important instrument in the struggle against poverty. Grameen Bank has been a source of ideas and models for the many institutions in the field of micro-credit that have sprung up around the world.
Every single individual on earth has both the potential and the right to live a decent life. Across cultures and civilizations, Yunus and Grameen Bank have shown that even the poorest of the poor can work to bring about their own development.
Micro-credit has proved to be an important liberating force in societies where women in particular have to struggle against repressive social and economic conditions. Economic growth and political democracy can not achieve their full potential unless the female half of humanity participates on an equal footing with the male.
Yunus's long-term vision is to eliminate poverty in the world. That vision can not be realised by means of micro-credit alone. But Muhammad Yunus and Grameen Bank have shown that, in the continuing efforts to achieve it, micro-credit must play a major part.
Oslo, 13 October 2006
Legends say that hummingbirds float free of time, carrying our hopes for love, joy and celebration. The hummingbirds delicate grace reminds us that life is rich, beauty is everywhere, every personal connection has meaning and that laughter is life's sweetest creation.

i haven't in a long time. it's not that i don't love You or think You don't exist, We both know that isn't true. i don't know what to say and i actually forgot how to pray. i ask other people what they ask You for and the request always seem to me to be so shallow. do I ask You for my car loan to be approved? or that i can keep my job despite this economy? do i ask for help with my bills? or that my graduated school application be approved? like some genie in a bottle they treat You, i could never ask anything for myself as i feel i have everything i need. those other things are just icing on the cake and what happens when you are able. i am only able because of You. I will never ask for myself because I know I am blessed and for that I am thankful. So thank You for waking me up this morning and keeping me safe and filling my life with constant love and inspiration. Thank You for so many things and all things great and small. So when I remember how to pray I will ask not for myself, but for those without hope. For those disabled by fear. Stagnate by doubt, lost and filled with dispare. I pray for those who don't know how beautiful You are and what great things You do for a life that is willing and able. I love You, I'm praying, Amen
(James 2:14 NIV) What good is it, my brothers, if a man claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save him?
(Ephesians 2:8-9 NIV) {8} For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith--and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God--{9} not by works, so that no one can boast.
(Matthew 25:41-43 NIV) {41} "Then he will say to those on his left, 'Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. {42} For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, {43} I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.'
(James 2:14-17 NIV) {14} What good is it, my brothers, if a man claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save him? {15} Suppose a brother or sister is without clothes and daily food. {16} If one of you says to him, "Go, I wish you well; keep warm and well fed," but does nothing about his physical needs, what good is it? {17} In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead.
This may draw some criticism from some in my neighborhood, but....I must put this out...as this is a topic that is on my mind today.
My Marriage Needs
My husband will (in order of importance, though all are improtant one way or another)....
Understand what it means to be a husband and father and be willing to constantly work on our relationship and marriage bond. Be 100% loyal to, loving of, and respectful to, me, as I will be for him.
Be willing to be intimately involved in my life, even if he's working to earn money for the family**
Share my vision of having a stable family and a stable marriage, and raising virtuous, kind, selfless kids who love to serve, and living a simple and virtuous life, as far as his career dictates. Share my love for a Christian education that is either part homeschooled, or wholly homeschooled.
Be pro-life and VOTE pro-life (and, if possible, NFP). But also....be Dominant in bed, and be able to explore some kinkiness.
Roman Catholic or Eastern Orthodox [and not require me to convert] and REALLY love a sound Liturgy and sound Doctrine
Intelligent- I can talk to him about technology, books, or random interesting things
Good and be idealistic
Be ambitious to SERVE [this loosely defined]
Be willing to have a traditional family and be the bread-winner (while I am the stable house manager)
Again.. Be 100% loyal to me. Be willing to forgive always, as I will forgive him and comfortable talking with me about EVERYTHING. Genuinely love, respect and sacrifice for me. Treat me as his equal-- except where we mutually agree to play with certain things. Respect what I love to do as a hobbies as I will respect his.
**Example: Be willing to be involved in my world, even as he's busy earning money. Be regularly involved with the kids, continue to to 'date' me even after marriage- special dates together weekly. Regularly saying "I love you" every day and sharing kisses every day.
In turn....
Total dedication and sacrifice on my part. Love, loyalty, and forgiveness, always. Allowance for his minor faults and to spend time with his friends, trusting him to be loyal. Working with him as a partner
